This stupid book.

My very religious grandma gave me a book a few days ago basically saying that I should wait until marriage.

This book is so stupid. I've read a few excerpts from it and my god it's boring. All these girls have one thing in common.
God.

They're all religious. I'm not.

I don't care wat my grandma wants or thinks, I don't feel like waiting until marriage and her trying to convince me with a stupid book that just lays there on my bedroom floor.

I'm glad she cares. It's more than a lot of my family members do. But her trying to drill it in my brain about STD's and staying pure until marriage is pissing me off.

I'm not dumb. I read wats going on in the world. I know about all that stuff.


It's ridiculous.

Eff.My.Life

Jaykay. But really. I *HATE* high school so much.
And yet I love it.

Like I'm so excited for Junior year next year...We get to pick our classes soon for Junior Year! Eek! And I turn 16 next year!! Yay!!!
And yet..it's the most important time for SAT and ACT...HATE!!! D:<>

And not to mention cheerleading...oh yea..I'm trying out...TryOuts are TOMORROW AFTERNOON. I wanna make it just cos that'll be huge for me. Oh yea weird girl Kenna made cheerleading.
But I hear there's a lot of drama in cheerleading. Oi...

Not to mention Drama started yesterday. I want one of these 3 parts. One I'm perfect for cos the girl is a total ditz. Yea I just insulted myself. But right now I don't care cos I am SPAZZING OUT!


I'm so bipolar when it comes to things like these..



Hopefully I have things squared out soon. D:

Pray for me! Dx
Even tho I'm not all that religious..


Peace and Love..

Am I too odd?

Well yea I know I'm not the most normal girl around. Very far from it actually.

There are lots of people who love me cos I'm psychotic.
But others..not necessarily "hate" me. But they don't care for me. And some are jealous, I know they are.

Imagine if people knew how I wanted to die and how I thought of my death.

I want to die by falling from a great height. I do not see it as suicide. Suicide is when you kill yourself because you think there is no way out. I know there is a way out, but this is how I want to die. Not right now of course...

Kira knows how I think of it and she's the same too. (I think she still is? o:)
Jeff doesn't want me to do it though. He thinks it's bad. It's not like I'm doing it soon. (As I said before..) I'll do it when I know it's my time.

Or how my way of having fun is weird to people. (Yea..T.P.-ing the girls' bathroom during lunch is fun. Plotting the demise of certain people is also fun.)


So tell me...

Why are people so judgemental? Why can't a lot of people accept one another?

Because we are human...

Yay!!!

I get to go to Europe!!!

I'm SO happy!!!


It's going to be so exciting.. :D


More details later..

Peace!

Truly.

I'm so incredibly alone.

Sometimes because of my age. In the sophomore class but really suppose to be a freshman. Everyone else starts driving during sophomore year. But not Kenna! D:<

Other times it's cos of my parents. Always thinking I'm the person I was a little bit over a year ago. Always sneaking out and going behind their backs. I'm not. D': So because they think that I rarely go out of town for more than a few hours with friends.

I wish I had a best friend who lived in town. Terra's the only best friend I can trust a lot of the times. Atleast she won't go behind my back and spread out my secrets. But she lives in Douglas. Long ways away.

I can trust Amber a lot of times too. But then usually Dessi or Natasha have to take her away from me.


And that PISSES me off!!
Amber was my friend first! They always take the friends I made first.

Aaron, Allen, Brandon, Amber, the list goes on.

Yea sure I've taken maybe 1 or 2 of their friends. I can't make a really good friend without them running off with them. Why can't they make their own friends? I promise not to steal them.


Partly debating on staying best friends with them. I dunno. Probably not. Kinda attached but not really.


I guess I'm just spewing out my feelings right now. No one really to talk to. Friday night and some people can go hang out with friends.


Another feelings I'm having is Jeff. Where IS he!?
I haven't talked to him in like over a week.

I know he has soccer practice but it doesn't last that long. And I'm sure he doesn't have THAT much homework..

I miss him too much. ):



I think I'm gonna end this blog now.
Night everyone..

Do Better?

Lately I have the song Do Better by Say Anything in my head.
iTunes recommended it for me and it has been like 2 years since I've listened to them.

But this song...it's not like their usual work. It really speaks to me.


"You can do better, You can do better. You can be the greatest man in the world."

Sure I'm not a man. But I guess it's saying to people that we should all try harder.

Which is true. I could try harder in a lot of things.
Maybe I should start.


It also says "You burn so brightly."

People have told me before that I am a bright person.
(Actually people said it more often when I was going through depression...Were they just trying to make me feel better or are other people that oblivious to things?)

I guess if I'm bright I should work a bit harder.
I guess I can try.


Do we all need to try harder these days?

Get me out of here.

Ever since I was little I knew everyone is destined for great things.
"Everyone is destined for great things but it takes a truly amazing person to do the great things."

My motto I made up..
I'm not sure if I will do great things.
But also when I was little I knew Syracuse was too small for a girl like me.

I wanna go on adventures and explore the world.


But will I end up like Murphy?
Murphy is from my favorite book series, Peaches by Jodi Lynn Anderson. She's exactly like me I swear. She's reckless and crazy and everyone wants to be around her.
But...she doesn't wanna stay in Bridgewater forever. Too small. But in the end of the 3rd and final book, Love And Peaches, she ends up missing Bridgewater and leaves New York for it.


I'm just wondering if I will end up missing this small town..


Who knows...