I Make It Rain :D

Why do I have a Lil Wayne song stuff in my head?
I wish it would rain tho D:

Like I know during the night time it's been nothing but rain. But it doesn't rain during the day D':
I want to dance in the rain. I want Jeff to come here and dance in the rain with me.

But sadly he has a life and a job D:
A job at the one restaurant I really don't like. Runza. Ewwie :P


Gosh I haven't blogged in a long time. And it will continue to be a while for I am leaving in 2 days D:
To Mrytle Beach. Yea sure it's cool. But a full week of the family being nothing but a huge facade.
Mom- "Okay everyone now smile for the camera and make everyone think we're the perfect family. :D"
Or how my mom forces me to wear ugly clothes that resemble hers. A few years ago when I was in therapy, the discusion about my clothes came up. My mom said "Well I just wish she would be honest with me when we go shopping so we don't waste money on clothes she'll never wear."

Yea look were THAT got us. Ever since then shopping has been a nightmare with her. I don't get why she can't just leave me alone and let me do wat I want. Seriously that has been one of my main roots of depression for how long? Her not accepting anything makes it worse.

But for real. On this vacation I'm not saying one word at all. Maybe a few words here and there. I'm just gonna get through this as quick as possible, smile for the stupid pictures that'll get uploaded on Facebook and not ever be looked at again.

Only reason I'm going is for my Kid Leather gloves. The gloves I have been wanting for like almost 2 years now. Ha. Kinda funny tho. Jim said my room had to be clean before we leave and I said "Why? It's not like you guys are gonna leave me anyways."
It's true. Plane tickets are paid for.

Yea sure. I'm always complaining how I wanna leave town. But not with my family. I wanna be free. Nebraska. Nebraska is not a place if I wanna be free.


I just wanna get my license, get Jeff, and just leave someday.
Like my Las Vegas plans.
I'm for real I don't care wat anyone says.
The day after graduation I'm getting in my car with clothes and other things I may need, and just gonna drive to Las Vegas for a while. I also wanna find the house I was born in in California.

It's gonna be amazing. Hopefully Jeff or someone can come with me.


Too bad for now, all I can do is dream. ):

Ugh Summer.

Well it's been my summer vacation for a while now.
So far I've been pretty bored.
All my friends have cars and can go drive. But I can't.

Ugh. I hate being a year younger! Hate..!!!


I'm done (:

2-Faced Bitch

Gee I would talk to your face. But I don't know which one to talk to.

Dessi's a bitch and cos of it she has no more Syracuse friends cos she can't be a honest friend and go a week without bitching and complaining and saying shit about anyone.
She talks shit about us to Amber, thinking she won't tell me.

Amber has been my friend for like 8-9 years. I'm pretty sure that if anyone was talking crap about me, Amber would tell me. And she has. Thank you Amber :D


But now Dessi is moving. I hope. I so hope. We all hate her and can't wait for her to leave.

Saying my butt is too huge for the rest of my body.
Alrighty. My ass isn't the one that spends all of my paychecks on McDonald's and my ass isn't the one where the size of it has doubled, almost tripled, in less than a month due to all the McDonald's.

And then calling me a whore? Yea I'm not the one who cheated.


Also pisses me off that she can't fight a fight. Wimp.
Amber even said that if she was in Dessi's position, she would be scared. Just cos when I'm pissed my strength like triples. I'm already pretty strong as it is.

And then saying she's prettier than me?
Her hair is fucked, her face is fucked, her whole body itself is fucked.
I believe I'm atleast "okay-looking."

Oh but she was texting me saying that she doesn't care that none of us like her. Bullshit. She texted Amber saying she was "depressed." Probably cos she has no one to go to now.
Bitch.


I guess she hasn't learned her lesson.

No more that for Kenna

I have no flippin clue in the world why I'm so suddenly hyper.
Let's go make a bomb! :D

And lemme just say..
I did NOT wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy D:<

My alarm went off and the song that came on was uhm...I dunno some song I haven't listened to for a while. But anyways I started screaming at it cursing that I don't like Tuesdays.
Which is true.

No no no...


My mommy is having surgery this Friday on her Uterus.
It sucks cos she won't be able to see me sing at contest this year since contest is this Friday.
And I'm singing such pretty songs for contest! D:


Bwahahaha. I wonder if Brandon got my message. Probably not.
Shall I ingore him at contest? Not that he gives a shit about me anyways.

Should I put my facebook on here? If I do, will I regret it cos of all the freaky people that read my blog?


P.S. Why is it called the iPad? Girls don't use it when they're on the rag. In fact, no one uses it...

Vent

I can't believe it.
He promised me and I hate it when people break promises.

Brandon.

He's back to smoking now.

I'm tired of him breaking his promises to me.
First I was the most amazing girl ever, then I'm still the most amazing girl but not in the girlfriend form, now he's back to smoking *again.*

I am actually debating on whether I stay friends with him.
If he wants to save his life and our friendship...

It's up to him...


That is all...

This stupid book.

My very religious grandma gave me a book a few days ago basically saying that I should wait until marriage.

This book is so stupid. I've read a few excerpts from it and my god it's boring. All these girls have one thing in common.
God.

They're all religious. I'm not.

I don't care wat my grandma wants or thinks, I don't feel like waiting until marriage and her trying to convince me with a stupid book that just lays there on my bedroom floor.

I'm glad she cares. It's more than a lot of my family members do. But her trying to drill it in my brain about STD's and staying pure until marriage is pissing me off.

I'm not dumb. I read wats going on in the world. I know about all that stuff.


It's ridiculous.

Eff.My.Life

Jaykay. But really. I *HATE* high school so much.
And yet I love it.

Like I'm so excited for Junior year next year...We get to pick our classes soon for Junior Year! Eek! And I turn 16 next year!! Yay!!!
And yet..it's the most important time for SAT and ACT...HATE!!! D:<>

And not to mention cheerleading...oh yea..I'm trying out...TryOuts are TOMORROW AFTERNOON. I wanna make it just cos that'll be huge for me. Oh yea weird girl Kenna made cheerleading.
But I hear there's a lot of drama in cheerleading. Oi...

Not to mention Drama started yesterday. I want one of these 3 parts. One I'm perfect for cos the girl is a total ditz. Yea I just insulted myself. But right now I don't care cos I am SPAZZING OUT!


I'm so bipolar when it comes to things like these..



Hopefully I have things squared out soon. D:

Pray for me! Dx
Even tho I'm not all that religious..


Peace and Love..